I have never particularly liked blank canvasses. Those empty pages and that artwork to be, or this screen for that matter, stare me down and I always loose. Reviewing the art of others and de-constructing their arguments seems so much less scary. I read a book and the book awakens something deep in me, something I know to true, yet devoting one’s own truths to paper without a model or predecessor that is infinitely more hard. Friends who want to support and sooth the insecure writer in me say: “The world is a blanc canvass”, but I cannot imagine a more frightening world view.
Pretty scary, huh?
Fortunately, it is also a false world view and not a very pagan one to boot. The world is not a canvas on which we can paint freely, it is a collective weaving, which is good! I do not have to deep in my deep in my soul or my unconscious for highly original thoughts, I can simply react to what is around me. You may think this is all very obvious and matter-of-fact, but is not to a person who is struggling for years to write her master’s thesis due to the dreaded mental disease called perfectionism. Yes, this blog might have been called ‘the perfectionist pagan’ as well.
But it hasn’t.
This is ‘Pagan Layman’.
Being a layman soothes my own nerves and perhaps also the angst of those who are fearful I will try to define ‘their paganism’, which might be useful due to the current climate in the pagan blogosphere. It will server as my preventative defence. I am only layman so you do not need to heed anything I say. And when things get to heated, I feel free to use this disclaimer against you any time I like.That being said, I like heat. I like arguing. In fact I enjoy verbal sparring matches as much as physical sparring. So beware!
I am in search of the gods. I want to meet them. In the great outdoors, in liturgy, in books, in folk festivals, ecstasy, anywhere I can find them. And when I find them, I want to share those moments with you. And as god-loving Pagans can be very interesting and sometimes quite hilarious themselves, I will write about them too.
This is just the fine-print.
Blogging starts soon.